Tuesday, August 3, 2010
My brain on drugs
I’m sittin’ here in Bonney Lake Washington with a broken foot and a stomach full of pills hoping to get the swelling down enough to get my foot in a boot. With no insurance there is no chance that I can go to some hospital so some fuck stain of a doctor can tell me there is no way to mend my foot.
All that shit ever gets you is an Ace bandage and some Tylenol followed closely by a bill for $68,000. Little does the medical industry realize is that in our world almost any injury can be rectified with the careful application of duct tape and illegally purchased drugs that will actually fuck you up enough to take it easy. I’ve done the hospital game and have come to realize that if you ain’t got the cash you ain’t goin’ to get the help…so break out the duct tape and the fistfuls of mind numbing capsules of bliss.
So here I sit as the blur of tranquility seeps its way from the base of my spine and spreads its way outward until near shut down. Stupid, probably but fuck it , I ride the fuck out of whatever has two wheels so common sense ain’t what I am known for.
I don’t condone drug use or whatever but what the fuck do I care, I use what I have to to make it from the cradle to the grave. Do your homework and use what you have to to get the job done without becoming an addict. So today I am sinking into the couch as the ice melts on my fucked foot. Life ain’t all that bad so why avoid the chemicals that will get you by.
I thought long and hard about what my standing is in the world and how seriously anyone takes the things that I write. Then I realized that you can take what I write and turn it into whatever you want it to believe. Read into the shit like a fortune in a cookie or some second rate horoscope and that’s just fine. If I can give you a platform to launch your own thoughts then my shit has been more the successful. So go for it. Find yourself on top of the world or gasping you last breath in some gutter somewhere it’s all your choice…I’m just putting words out there…do what you want with ‘em.
I guess I could be more political and take a stand on the way that this country’s government is ass fucking us at every turn but I don’t. I know all about it, you better know it and if you do you know that you better start arming yourself to the teeth and be prepared to shoot any fucker that wants to fuck with your shit. That’s it, my political views in a nutshell. Deep huh?
Big news, I don’t drink and haven’t in years. I’m a bad drunk and it almost killed me more times than I can remember. Sure the amount I drank was enough to drown me never mind destroy myself physically but I was also that dick fuckin’ with other peoples shit. I should have taken a bullet several times but people took some distorted sense of pity on me and would just give me a beat down followed by a decent stomping once I was down depending on how much of a cunt I was at the time.
My drinking was my death wish in a bottle so now I ride bikes …cross addiction I suppose and I’m still getting a beat down from them but now I have brothers instead of hangovers and the blood pouring out of my ass has topped. Bikes are now my addiction, and they are no less life threatening…Hooray motorcycles!
Now that the drugs are really setting in I am realizing how much I love sloppy blowjobs and the dirty girls that have givin’ ‘em to me. You think with my age and wisdom (*sic*) you would think I was over it, the whole sex thing, but I’m not…I love fuckin’ but not like and 18 year old boy but sex is still a blast…the dirtier the better. Sex and fast motorcycles is what makes you feel alive so ride the shit out of both of them. I like a girl that likes to fuck and a bike that can fuck me up…life is simple!
I’ve never really had any goals but as the years pass it seems like I have achieved some although none of them was planned. There has never been a ‘bucket list’. The closest I have ever come to a bucket list is a light weight spackle bucket with the lid on at a construction site. Anyone that has worked construction learns to never open that bucket. It’s usually just a plastic container full of shit that was used in an emergency. That might be my bucket and I know not to open it .
The things that I have ‘accomplished’ have happened because I felt like I had nothing to lose. When you go to blow your head off with a 9mm and change your mind as you are pulling the trigger you realize at that moment you should be dead and the rest of your life is gravy and you can just do what you want because you are already supposed to be dead. So you take some chances and some of them just back fire but others put you in a place that you feel proud of. Near death experiences are very liberating.
At this point the drugs have really taken effect and I have no idea what the point of this ramble was about. I read it and it says some shit but “why” I wonder. Livin’ life in free form I suppose. Free writing with no actual point…kind of like life maybe? Probably not, tying that all together would have required forethought and that is way beyond my capabilities at this point.
I guess I do have some plans for the future. My tiny house that I tow with a box truck/ studio, just traveling the U.S.A. riding my bikes and painting some pictures. Loading up on guns for when the shit comes down. Fuckin’ until my dick just don’t work anymore and just takin’ it as it comes.
The drugs will eventually wear off and this probably won’t make any sense…then it’ll just be funny.
Well fuckers , have a blast and do what you want. Don’t fuck with people that don’t deserve it and maybe you won’t end up with a bullet in forehead….that’s all that I got…I’m hornier then shit….”GTP”