Sunday, February 27, 2011
Fuck days off!
I took a day off today, it fuckin’ sucked. I’ve been working from sun up to well after sun down for months as far as I can figure, so it’s hard to relax when I stop.
So today I forced myself not to. It wasn’t easy and the weather was bad which didn’t help. Fuck it, I found a couch and planted my ass…for a bit until I got antsy and headed to town, where my shop is and tried to walk it off. I found myself in the studio…damn it! Being my own boss sucks…I would NEVER work for someone like me.
This little town has really allowed me to pump out some work but when I’m not working there ain’t shit to do here, so I just don’t stop. It’s the same here, day in and day out…the same, but not in my shop. When I leave whatever project I have on the rack I begin to remember that I am here to work and just work, social life be damned…seven paintings by June. Days off suck, that’s why I just don’t do it.
Now with today’s hours of forced lethargy I had get my mind off what I WASN’T doing and just shut down because I just flat out had to stop for 24 hours…now what do I think about? I’ve done all the thinking that I’ve had to and I just didn’t want to do it today. A day off means a day off from my head too…not that easy when bars and the like ain’t your bag anymore, the Latowski is down because my back is once again on the mend and doing well…save the riding for summer.
So what to do with my day off, what to do, what to do…sheeeeeit…ain’t got nothing. Damn small town, ahhh, the dualities of the creative process. Damned if I don’t love to paint because I never really noticed how lonely this town can be without something to keep a busy mind busier. I spent the next couple of hours kickin’ stones and throwing pebbles at the mules at the end of the road…what I would do to just find something to the my mind away…like video games…only less gay!
It would have been a good day just to stay in and fuck. Unnnnnn-fortunately I gave up fuck buddies when I gave up Urbainia…oh well, haven’t thought about fuckin’ in a while and it’s just starting to feel like a distant memory…I’ll get back into it, eventually…I hope.
I never thought I would become so complacent when it comes to pussy. Stupid decisions unfolded into stupid scenarios all for the obsession for sweet, sweet pussy. Damn the visuals are great but there sure was a lot of time wasted in the pursuit of it…and worth every minute.
Now though, it just ain’t that important. I don’t really miss it; I just don’t seem to give it no nevermind. Am I that old, senile…dying? Why am I not chasing the proverbial skirt anymore?
I’m just being realistic while I am into the months of painting in the time that lay ahead. There ain’t no ‘tang to be had and any that are bring along a world of problems with it. There are like 1200 people that are locals in this town of which there are maybe twenty available pieces of ass and of that each has the rest of the male population chasing them around. The odds are stacked against me and in this game the house always wins…so I ain’t playin’.
All well and good until I got a call from a hottie from my past just to tell me that she still wanted to fuck my brains out…it didn’t take much to throw me back in the game. Anybody want to fuck? Bring on the stupidity! “GTP”